Mrs. Oliver Harriman's Book of Etiquette: 4

Because you can never have too much wisdom from 1942. (See all of the tips from Mrs. Oliver Harriman here.)

Yachting

• Naturally, no one ever dresses formally on board a yacht. That would defeat the purpose of the holiday.
(Naturally.)

• If you are to be a week-end guest, here are some of the extras you will need: hair ribbons, big sports handkerchiefs, plenty of sweaters, sun glasses, warm dressing gown.
(I don't know if I have enough hair ribbons to be a week-end guest. Damn.)

• If you don't know the right name of a sail, call it anything and the skipper will correct you.
(Anything?)

On Being a Good Neighbor

• Moving to a strange community is not easy. While the man of the family continues to meet people through his business, the wife is left at home at the mercy of her neighbors.
(That's been exactly my experience.)

• If you arrive at your neigbor's when she is obviously busy, have the grace to make a speedy exit. "I'll be back later," you may tell her, or "I've just come to borrow some nutmeg."
(I think it would be cool if "I've just come to borrow some nutmeg" became the standard thing to say to get yourself out of an awkward situation. I'm going to spearhead that movement.)

• We should never entrust the family skeleton to our neighbors unless we want it exhibited on the back fence.
(Word, Mrs. Oliver Harriman. Word.)

Suggested menu for, assuming you live in a port town, giving a party for the men of a visiting battleship:

• Virginia baked ham (cold)


• Creamed chicken (hot)


• Mexican baked beans (hot)


• Potato salad


• Tomato aspic (chilled)


• Home-made hot parker house rolls, buttered


• Home-made vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce


• Home-made coconut layer cake


• Large cups of coffee

(Because you're totally going to make the vanilla ice cream and parker house rolls from scratch. And those Navy boys don't get to choose whether or not to butter their rolls, damn it! Also, how are we supposed to know whether to serve the potato salad, vanilla ice cream, and layer cake hot or cold?)