The tale of the thing on my ceiling
I've meant to write about this for a few weeks now. I sincerely hope nothing like this ever happens to you.
At exactly 4:12 a.m. one morning, I woke up. I didn't know why, but I was suddenly awake. Weak street light filtered in through the blinds, and I found myself gazing up at the ceiling. Something about it looked different. A moment later I registered what: there was a big ... something ... casting an odd shadow up there. It looked like it was about the size of a smoke detector, but as my increasingly agitated brain contemplated this, I realized I was 99% sure that there wasn't a smoke detector in my room. It was right outside my room in the hallway. So that couldn't be right. Still sleep addled, I was becoming nervous. You know how sometimes you notice an ominous shadow on your ceiling and you realize it's a bug of some kind, and it's coming toward you? And at any moment it might decide to drop? Well, that's where I was, except this was no bug. Something of this size could only be some sort of animal, or bird, and it was really close to my bed, and oh my God what if I hadn't woken up and it had just DROPPED on me while I slept, and how the hell did it get into my room anyway and were there more where that came from?
I knew I had to get off the bed and turn on the light to deal with it, which would (shudder, shudder) involve passing directly underneath the thing. But what choice did I have? I leapt off my bed and scuttled over to the door, whimpering softly as I ran. Reaching the doorway, I looked up with trepidation. It didn't look like it had moved, but I just knew that when I turned on my light - as I would have to do - it would panic and start scurrying or flying around, and it would probably come toward me, and I would probably scream, and I didn't have the slightest idea what I would do to get rid of it. I stepped out into the hallway and reached in to the light switch, so that if necessary I could slam my door shut between myself and whatever it was. Summoning my courage, I let out a small squeak and flipped the switch.
My room flooded with light, and the thing on the ceiling was illuminated. It was very well illuminated, in fact, because IT WAS the light. Yeah, that's right. I'd woken up in the middle of the night, in the same room I've slept in for almost four years, and freaked out over my damned light fixture. As the adrenaline began to dissipate, I wasn't sure whether to find the situation hilarious or just sad. I settled for a weak guffaw and a shake of the head, and went back to bed. In case you're wondering, as of yet my light fixture has not flown around the room, nor dropped on me in my sleep. I'll continue to monitor the situation.
At exactly 4:12 a.m. one morning, I woke up. I didn't know why, but I was suddenly awake. Weak street light filtered in through the blinds, and I found myself gazing up at the ceiling. Something about it looked different. A moment later I registered what: there was a big ... something ... casting an odd shadow up there. It looked like it was about the size of a smoke detector, but as my increasingly agitated brain contemplated this, I realized I was 99% sure that there wasn't a smoke detector in my room. It was right outside my room in the hallway. So that couldn't be right. Still sleep addled, I was becoming nervous. You know how sometimes you notice an ominous shadow on your ceiling and you realize it's a bug of some kind, and it's coming toward you? And at any moment it might decide to drop? Well, that's where I was, except this was no bug. Something of this size could only be some sort of animal, or bird, and it was really close to my bed, and oh my God what if I hadn't woken up and it had just DROPPED on me while I slept, and how the hell did it get into my room anyway and were there more where that came from?
I knew I had to get off the bed and turn on the light to deal with it, which would (shudder, shudder) involve passing directly underneath the thing. But what choice did I have? I leapt off my bed and scuttled over to the door, whimpering softly as I ran. Reaching the doorway, I looked up with trepidation. It didn't look like it had moved, but I just knew that when I turned on my light - as I would have to do - it would panic and start scurrying or flying around, and it would probably come toward me, and I would probably scream, and I didn't have the slightest idea what I would do to get rid of it. I stepped out into the hallway and reached in to the light switch, so that if necessary I could slam my door shut between myself and whatever it was. Summoning my courage, I let out a small squeak and flipped the switch.
My room flooded with light, and the thing on the ceiling was illuminated. It was very well illuminated, in fact, because IT WAS the light. Yeah, that's right. I'd woken up in the middle of the night, in the same room I've slept in for almost four years, and freaked out over my damned light fixture. As the adrenaline began to dissipate, I wasn't sure whether to find the situation hilarious or just sad. I settled for a weak guffaw and a shake of the head, and went back to bed. In case you're wondering, as of yet my light fixture has not flown around the room, nor dropped on me in my sleep. I'll continue to monitor the situation.
posted by BeeKay at 10:33 PM
2 Comments:
OMG - I was on edge the whoel time I read that! Last week I killed a huge spider right by my bed on the wall - in a similar climb out of bed, turn on the light, grab a book type of way. Not cool. I also (that same night) killed a silverfish on the ceiling above my bed! Needless to say, I was scared for you.
LOL!!
I wouldn't just blindly trust that light fixture though. Here's a story for you..
Years ago I was staying in a house with a bunch of my friends in Greenlake, at a Bible Conference. We pushed all of the beds together creating one giant bed that the group of us could cram into. In the middle of the night in the pitch blackness, we heard a BAM followed by a crack, followed by my friend Rachel yelling loudly.
Upon investigation, it was determined that the smoke detector detached itself from the ceiling - it hit the ceiling fan, flew across the room and nailed Rachel in the head.
I think I peed my pants.
Ha ha. That is so funny!!
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